If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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