how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
