the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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