quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
