Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
