Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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