'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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