I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
