Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
