The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
