Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
