You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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