Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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