But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
