she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
