no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
