i already hear my dad disowning me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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