I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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