at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
