apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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