...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
