I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
