I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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