Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
