It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Someone shit on the floor
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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