This show inspires me to have sex in space
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
