So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
