:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
