So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
