Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
