i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
