i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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