Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
