yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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