I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
