I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
