I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize