I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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