# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
