Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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