dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm bleeding and have questions
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
