3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this just has baby written all over it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
