so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
