he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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