I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
