Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it glows. i had to have it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
