so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
