TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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