i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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