Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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