Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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