They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize