i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
