i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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