I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
