no, he came in my armpit
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
