PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
