McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
