Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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